Never me with you
by Wake Me Up When The World Ends
Summary: SuigetsuXJuugo Yaoi story more fluff as of now but could become more in later chapters. Just read for more info.
1. Suigetsu's thoughts

Both us were chosen for our abilities, for our natural talents, we were chosen to be locked away nothing but lab rats for that demon. I never understood, I never understood why you didn't even try to get away, why you didn't want to taste freedom once again. I never understood you or him who's love for that demon surpassed all his pain.

You never spoke much except to yourself. At times I could hear you scream in the night your body ravaged by an unknown pain. I wanted to go to you and tell you it was alright, that it would be alright someday. But, I never knew how and, he always seemed to get there first the one other who had never tried to leave. Who would never leave unless the demon wished it to be so. I never knew what he would always say to you, to stop your screams, to stop your nightmares. It had to have been something soothing and delicate, speech which is foreign to my rouge tongue.

After a while we were separated torn apart and I could no longer hear your screams in the darkness although, I knew that they would always be there. I tried to escape several times. Where I was to go after I knew not I just wanted to feel the wind on my face once again, I wanted to see home again. Maybe, I wanted to see you again too. For my attempts I was locked away in a place no one went to, a place I had no way to escape. In that darkness who my imprisonment I cursed the demon and all that he had done to me and all that he had ever done to you as well. All we were was pawns left to his deceptive movements.

So much time passed between then and now and I began to wonder if I truly was just helpless to be locked away still completely helpless. I saved and released from my prison by the man who had slayed the demon and I saw saved from my own impending madness. The name of that man was Sasuke Uchiha, he freed me but, only to do his bidding. He wants to free you too and, of course, Karin because she is just so important. I hate the way she looks down upon everyone except he who is in charge then she drools over him like a sick puppy. She makes me want to vomit whenever I see her. If only he didn't need her abilities to find his target. Then maybe I could put this sword to use he head upon the ground would really make me happy, it's been a long time since I was able to stretch my muscles.

When we came for you, you still didn't want to leave. After all the suffering he put you through, all the pain you still wanted to remain locked in that room. Perhaps you would have forever remained locked in that room if not for Sasuke revealing Kimimaro's sacrifice. Was I not enough to take you from that place Juugo? Why did it have to be Kimimaro, it's always been him for you never me. You never will see me will you? I always will just be watching you listening to you quietly never making a sound, never telling you how I feel, never telling you that it was me who had loved you all along.


	2. Juugo's thoughts

Whispers come to me softly in the night telling me to forsake them all, to leave them to die, slaughter every single one. I scream at the top of my lungs but, no one seems to hear me closed off from the world by this door. This room is my refuge, the only place I can't hurt anyone but, myself. It's better this way. The voices come to a scream like an animal telling me to leave, to feel no regret, to kill but, I've had enough of bloodshed. The black marks start to cover my body and I claw at my skin trying to rid myself of the curse. I am more than grateful to Orochimaru, he locked me away so I wouldn't kill, so I couldn't kill anymore. This safety he is giving the world that safety from me will be worth any torture he can put me through.

Outside my door I hear whispers voices I do not recognize, voices I am scared of, Orochimaru never told me that anyone would be able to come near me, I draw back into the back corner of MY room hiding from all the noise as the voices inside my head once again urge me to kill. A pale boy opens the door he looks no older than me, he is silent and the voices outside have silenced as well. He introduces himself in a kind way, in a friendly way, he must not know what a monster I am, he must not see through my innocent looking façade. He comes closer and closer to me so close I cannot control myself I lash out the black marks completely covering my body. To my surprise his bones come out from his body and block me blow for blow. Inside myself I watch as the voices, as I try to rip him limb from limb and I smile at my own frustration as I am unsuccessful. Soon I am tired and I regain control of my body, for the most part, and ask him softly if he is alright. He nods and his bones sink back into his body. That's when, I believe, we become friends, friends who were always there fro each other never faltering. Other than Orochimaru himself we were the only two who never wanted to leave this place, the only two who were content. I had my reasons and Kimimaro had his I never asked what they were I could she his love for Orochimaru reflected in his eyes.

In this place there are many people, once Kimimaro persuaded me to leave MY room and see them. I walked with him as he named all the faces telling me what they could do or what they had done to be taken by Orochimaru. The place had enough people to fill a village with young boys and a few girls. There were a few that caught my eye a girl so full of herself she was bursting to the brim, who Kimimaro said could track people by using their chakra against them. Also, a boy with razor-sharp teeth and an array of water bottles, Kimimaro said that he could turn his body into water. I don't know what exactly but, there was something about them, Karin and Suigetsu something about them seemed important but, I wasn't sure what. After that excursion, I tried to stay in my room as much as possible only dragged out when Orochimaru and his assistants wanted to run tests on me and my curse. After they'd finished they would send me back to my room and I'd sit in a corner trying to control myself, trying to stop myself from wanting to kill once again. Kimimaro would drop by and talk to me at times and I would be comforted by his presence it was as lonely and scarred as my owm. Also, at times, I could see eyes peering through the cracks in my door, curious eyes. At night when I would scream after the voices had become to much for me, almost as if it was a ritual Kimimaro would come and comfort me unafraid of what I could do to him, I would wish at those times that I could be as fearless as him.

One day Kimimaro was gone and he never came back all he did was tell me he was going to retrieve Orochimaru's new body. I'm scared of myself now, I'm scared of being completely alone. Now nothing can stop my screams and I am on the very edge of my sanity and my control over the voices is weakening once again, I just want to rip everyone limb from limb. If I am given any opportunity I surely will follow the will of the voices. Even those who I felt to be important have abandoned me Suigetsu, after many escape attempts was taken to a new base and locked away and as for Karin her fate was left in own hands as the head of another one of Orochimaru's bases. She was in charge of the prison keeping the prisoners from leaving with whatever means necessary.

For a long time I was left alone, mostly out of fear. Word had spread about my bloody past and my only human contact came with the delivery of my meals, no more eyes peered from the cracks. I was afraid of myself most of the time as I scratched away at my skin. I kept thinking about the outside world. To me all it looked like was the dead coated in blood and it was all MY fault. I could never truly remember what the outside world looked like anymore and what made it even worse was I no longer longed to even remember or know what it looked like.

After wallowing in madness a light came from the door and a face I had never seen before became visible it was male and it looked almost like a male version of Karin. I lunged to attack him suddenly blaming him an only him for my curse, my inner madness, He fought back he was strong and unafraid of me. He said he wanted to talk to me but, I didn't listen, I could not listen I was overcome by an overpowering bloodlust. I vaguely noticed as I fought that Karin was their too standing and watching and I wondered if Suigetsu had been pulled along by this man too. My answer however was soon found as a blade came crashed down Suigetsu its wielder. He yelled to the man that words would not work on me, that I would only listen to force. It was true I had to admit, true of the monster I had become. He seemed to know me well as if we had been together all along. But, as Suigetsu fought me Karin and the man still begged to talk to me. Karin I knew was almost useless without her words. The man however seemed different and when he saw I would not listen stopped both me and Suigetsu in mid battle with an attack that was similar to those used by Orochimaru. He told us to stop Suigetsu was afraid and did as he said and I ran to hid in MY room locking the door securely behind me. They pounded on MY door and spoke of my joining them in the outside world but, I refused I knew if I went I would kill again it was a guarantee. Then the man spoke of Kimimaro and of the sacrifice he has made to deliver _him_ to Orochimaru. Then I knew who the man was he was who Kimimaro had went to retrieve all that time ago, he was supposted to be Orochimaru's new body he was Sasuke Uchiha. I then thought the situation over adding in the new factors. Could he be strong enough to keep me in line? I then agreed to come along following behind taking careful steps and watching those who I was traveling with. Then I remembered the eyes that had watched me from my door and as Suigetsu looked back at me I saw that the eyes were his, the eyes that always seemed to be there until they no longer could. I couldn't believe that I had never noticed, never noticed that he too had always been there for me. I couldn't believe that I had forgotten those eyes for so long that I had forgotten him for so long and that those eyes had been unnoticed for so long.


End file.
